5 Phrases That Calm an Upset Customer (and 3 to Avoid)

Words matter when emotions run high. These five phrases reduce defensiveness and keep the door open to resolution, whether you’re replying to a review or a direct message.

The Five Calming Phrases

1. “You shouldn’t have had to deal with that.” Validates without admitting fault.

2. “I’ve shared this with [role] so we can fix it.” Shows action.

3. “Let me make this easier.” Signals ownership.

4. “Can I move this to [phone/email] to sort it quickly?” Moves offline.

5. “Thanks for giving us the chance to improve.” Ends with appreciation.

Three Replies That Backfire

• “That’s just our policy.” Sounds rigid; explain the why instead.

• “We’ve never had this complaint before.” Dismissive; focus on this person.

• “As per the terms and conditions…” Legalistic; rewrite in human language.

Timing & Tone Tips

• Reply within 24h; sooner for safety or service failures.

• Mirror the customer’s language level, not the emotion.

• Use names; sign off with a real person and role.

Example Replies You Can Steal

• Service delay: “You shouldn’t have had to wait that long, Mia. I’ve passed this to our shift lead to fix the bottleneck. Can I call you today to make it right?”

• Product defect: “I can see why that would be frustrating, Arjun. I’ve flagged this with our warehouse team. Please DM your order number so I can sort a replacement.”

Need on-brand replies your managers don’t have to wordsmith?